Hey loves - and welcome the penultimate podcast of Orgasm week!
We’ve had a whole week of shows on the female orgasm to celebrate my Epic Orgasms Course which is being released next week. If you’ve missed any of them make sure you go back and listen in.
Today I’m answering a final question from someone in my community.
She says: I have had orgasms before. Most of the time by myself and sometimes with my partner, but the thing is, I don’t always with him. It’s really frustrating. I don’t really know what it is. Do you have any tips for someone like me?
Do I have any tips?
Of course I do! It’s this kind of real sex ed that I’m passionate about sharing.
If you’ve never had an orgasm, I suggest going back to listen to the show we did a couple of days ago “Can every woman reach orgasm? What should I do if I can’t?”
But if you have had orgasms, but just can’t seem to have them frequently or reliably, listen up as I delve into 7 practical suggestions for you.
I’m going to be including a whole bonus module on getting what we want in bed in my online course, Epic Orgasms. I’ll be sharing exact scripts and techniques that you can use to ask a partner for exactly what you want and give them feedback on how they’re going, so be sure to check that out next week.
In the meantime why not download my latest e-book EPIC ORGASMS: Everything you need to know about the female orgasm? In it I share more tips, practical exercises and Tantric secrets to help you have epic orgasms. It’s totally free for a limited time only.
Hey loves - and welcome back to Orgasm week!
We’ve had a whole week of shows on the female orgasm to celebrate my Epic Orgasms Course which is being released next week. If you’ve missed any of the 4 episodes so far, make sure you go back and listen in.
Today we’re talking about one of my favourite topics…. The 7 different kinds of Orgasms women can have!!
I like to think of all these different kinds of orgasms as just different ‘flavours of pleasure’. Sometimes, I want different orgasms at different times. Any orgasm is a great orgasm if you ask me. The science behind all of this is fascinating too.
I love sharing on this! This is information that I think every woman and man should have.
In this episode, I’ll be guiding you through the 7 different kinds of orgasms and what they feel like.
In Epic Orgasms, my new online course for women, we look at each different type of orgasm possible in more depth and get you detailed instructions on how to have them. It’s going to be a super fun, juicy course and I cannot wait to share it with you.
In the meantime, my latest e-book EPIC ORGASMS: Everything you need to know about the female orgasm is NOW available. In it I share more tips, practical exercises and Tantric secrets to help you have epic orgasms. So be sure to head to my website and download your copy. It’s totally free for a limited time only.
Hey loves - and welcome back to Orgasm week!
My new online course for women - Epic Orgasms is being released next week, so to celebrate, I’m sharing a whole week of shows on the female orgasm. If you’ve missed the first few episodes so far, make sure you go back and tune in.
I’m answering more questions from my community today.
Can every woman reach orgasm? What should I do if I can’t?
Sex absolutely doesn’t need to end in orgasm for it to be enjoyable, fulfilling and satisfying but if you want to reach orgasm and can’t, it can be incredibly frustrating.
Fact is, 30% of women struggle to reach orgasm on a regular basis and 1 in 10 of us have never had an orgasm at all.
And, if you’re one of the 10% of sexually active women who have never had an orgasm, you might be wondering if it’s even possible for you to have an orgasm?
It’s a good question.
The good news is that the vast majority of women can learn to orgasm when they have the right information and support.
Think of it as a skill you just haven’t been taught yet.
In this episode I talk about the many reasons women may have difficulty reaching orgasm and I share with you the 6 steps you can take to learn to have an orgasm for the first time.
My latest e-book EPIC ORGASMS: Everything you need to know about the female orgasm will be available later today! In it I share more tips, practical exercises and Tantric secrets to help you have epic orgasms. So be sure to head to my website and download your copy. It’s totally free for a limited time only.
Welcome back to Orgasm Week!
My new online course for women - Epic Orgasms is being released next week, so to celebrate, I’m going to be sharing a whole week of shows on the female orgasm.
If you’ve missed the first two episodes so far, make sure you go back and listen in.
Today, I’m answering another question sent in to me by a woman in my Facebook group. She wrote:
“I am interested in why it’s easier to orgasm alone? There have been times when I’ve been with a partner and they have said “Wow you take ages to orgasm”, and I’ve said “Yep” - but if I did it myself it could be over in three minutes. It can seem like they are doing exactly the same thing but it feels more harsh when they do it. Why is it easier to orgasm alone than with a partner?”
I know this can be really frustrating.
We think that orgasms should just happen - easily, often and loudly. And the especially should happen through penis in vagina intercourse - preferably at the same time.
But honestly, this just isn’t the case for many women.
The truth is 30% of women struggle to orgasm through partner sex.
You can wonder if your partner isn’t doing something right. You can feel embarrassed or like there’s something wrong with you. You can worry about hurting your partner’s feelings. You partner may also feel confused, inadequate or frustrated. And together, you might even give up trying.
It’s really important to keep in mind that it’s not your fault - and it’s not your partner’s fault either. You can both let go of any guilt, shame or blame right now.
In this episode we look at the many reasons why women can struggle to orgasm with a partner and delve into 4 steps to help you do it:
Go to my website to join the waitlist for your copy of my e-book EPIC ORGASMS: Everything you need to know about the female orgasm. In it I share more tips, practical exercises and Tantric secrets to help you have epic orgasms. It’s totally free for a limited time only.
Welcome to what I’m calling Orgasm Week!
My new online course for women - Epic Orgasms is being released next week, so to celebrate, I’m going to be sharing a whole week of shows on the female orgasm.
Today I’m answering a listener’s question: Will I always know if I’ve had an orgasm? How can I tell if I’ve had an orgasm?
So often, I hear that women have been told things like ‘you’ll just know when you’ve had one’ or ‘well, if you don’t know, you haven’t had one’.
The truth is, that’s not always true.
I share the scientific definition of an orgasm … then add some feeling to that!
We often have these huge expectations on orgasm now. You know that scene from ‘When Harry met Sally’? I can tell you that my orgasms don’t always look like that - and many women’s don’t.
Orgasms can be different sizes and intensities. Sometimes, they are huge, whole-body, toe-curling experiences, and sometimes, they’re small, silent, little releases.
Remember, what an orgasm feels like will be different for every woman - and will be different on different days.
And, if you still think you’ve never had an orgasm - or can orgasm by yourself, but not with a partner, stay tuned to the next couple of shows.
I’ll be talking about how you can have your first orgasm, have reliable orgasms with a partner and orgasm more frequently.
FYI, I’m sharing more tips, practical exercises and Tantric secrets to help you have epic orgasms in my latest e-book - Epic Orgasms.
Be sure to head to my website and join the waitlist to download your free copy of EPIC ORGASMS: Everything you need to know about the female orgasm. It’s totally free - for a limited time only.
Have you heard of the Orgasm Gap?
The orgasm gap is a scientifically documented gap in the rates that men and heterosexual women achieve orgasm during sexual encounters together.
Men are twice as likely to have an orgasm in heterosexual sexual encounters than women.
I don’t think sex needs to end in orgasm for it to be enjoyable, satisfying and loving, BUT, disparity in arousal and lack of sexual enjoyment can impact our confidence, sexual desire and our relationships.
In this episode, I talk about what the orgasm gap is, what causes men to be more likely to have an orgasm and what we can do to close the gap.
With my new e-book, Epic Orgasms, coming out later this week we’re go to make this Orgasm Week on the podcast. In just a couple of days I’ll be sharing an episode with 7 Ways to Increase Your Chance of Reaching Orgasm tonight, where I’m going to share really specific tips on how to reach orgasm. Make sure you stayed tuned to O week to hear it.
And why not head to my website NOW and join the waitlist for your free copy of EPIC ORGASMS: Everything you need to know about the female orgasm. It’ll be totally free for a limited time.
Today I’m talking about Gas Lighting.
It’s something I’ve been seeing too much of in my world at the moment.
I’m seeing it in my personal life - amongst my friends, in my clients - and on a much larger scale in world politics at the moment too.
And - I just can’t stay quiet about it anymore!
Gas lighting is a form of manipulation and control that can occur in relationships causing the victim to question their own feelings, instincts and sanity. It is emotional and psychological abuse.
In gas lighting, the abuser sees the victim as an object, a possession, something to control - although they might not necessary be aware that’s what they’re doing.
And it doesn’t just happen in intimate partner relationships – it can happen in the work place by bosses, it can happen from friends and unfortunately from other family members like parents.
In this episode I’ll be sharing
- What to do if you’re in a relationship with someone who is gas lighting you, and
- How to avoid this form of manipulation and control.
We’ve been talking about this in my Facebook group, Wholehearted Love, Sex and Intimacy - which is for women only - and I’d love you to come and join the discussion and share your experiences with this.
We all want love - we want to believe the person we love and know that we can trust them.
We all deserve a healthy, stable, loving and respectful relationship.
And you need to know that it IS possible.
If this is happening to you and you’re ready to move on to a healthier, more loving relationship, this is something that I support people with, so please visit the coaching page of my website and book a 20 minute call with me so we can find out if we’re a good fit for working together.
Do you feel like men and women just communicate differently?
Have you ever wanted to understand how the other sex thinks?
I know you’re going to love this episode, where I take a deep dive with "the relationship guy”, Gideon Hanekom.
When I announced to my Facebook community that I was going to be chatting to a male relationship expert for insights into how men and women communicate, I was flooded with questions.
Questions like:
We’re answering all of these questions and more.
We’ll cover the key needs men and women have in a relationship + the one emotion men are always trying to avoid.
We talk about the differences that happen in men and women’s bodies when we try to communicate + how you can effectively understand each other.
We also talk about the role of sex in vulnerability and intimacy.
ABOUT GIDEON
Gideon Hanekom is known as "the relationship guy" and creator of GideonHanekom.com – a top dating and relationship advice blog. He is a trained professional counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship coach and one of New Zealand’s top dating, relationship, and marriage bloggers. Gideon coaches troubled couples in stress-filled and stagnant long-term relationships how to create happier, healthier and more intimate love lives.
He also holds Bachelor and Master degrees in the field of Theology and is a Marriage Celebrant. He’s been happily married for twelve years with two beautiful kids and lives in New Zealand.
Check out more on his website or connect on Facebook or Instagram.
Those of you who know me know how I feel about this! I’m all about us being empowered in our sexuality - and having it be as enjoyable as possible. We deserve to feel pleasure. We deserve to fully enjoy sex. And making sure we do that is our responsibility.
There is so much to be said for us discovering what it is that we enjoy.
None of us are born great at sex, or innately knowing what we like. We have to figure it out through exploration.
We’ve got to stop expecting a partner to just know what to do - or blaming them if we’re not enjoying what’s happening.
Women say things like:
I’m afraid to tell my partner that I don’t like what they’re doing.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings.
I just don’t know what to ask for.
Sometimes I ask for something and he doesn’t do it right.
I often hear women say they’re afraid to ask for what they want - I also hear men say they really wish they had more direction, because they really want to please their partner - they’re just not sure how. This sucks for women - and it sucks for men too.
Over and over I hear men tell me that they feel performance pressure. They feel like they’re expected to know what to do. And they feel out of their depth and a bit clueless.
So I'm going to share with you how and when you can start the conversation. And don't worry, with a bit of practice, this gets easier - and we tend to get more creative with practice! So give yourself permission to start. Most partners will love you being more open and expressive about your sexual wants and needs.
My hope is that today’s episode helps you think differently about your pleasure and how to get more of it!
I’m going to be talking about this more in my Epic Orgasms Course coming out soon.
So make sure you head to my website and join the waitlist to be the first to hear when it opens.