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Wholehearted: Love, Life + Intimacy

Want wild confidence, a harmonious relationship + lasting desire? Welcome to Wholehearted Love, Life + Intimacy - the podcast here to help you create harmonious relationships, an inspired life + wholehearted intimacy. Join Isiah McKimmie, Couples Therapist, Sexologist + intimacy guru as she shares inspiring interviews, practical tools and the latest research-based advice for wild confidence, epic pleasure and a WHOLEHEARTED life. From dating, confidence and communication to successful relationships, having epic orgasms and living a life you LOVE - this podcast has it all. Isiah McKimmie is a Couples Therapist, Sex Therapist, Sexologist + Coach who’s been helping women and couples discover love, intimacy, lasting desire for over a decade. If you have a guest suggestion, a question or topic you’d like to see Isiah cover on the podcast, head to https://www.isiah-mckimmie.com/blog-pod/
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Now displaying: 2019
Dec 23, 2019

You know those people that just light YOU up when they walk into the room?

My guest today is one of those women.

I’ve been wanting to share her wisdom with you for the longest time! 

Colleen Schell is a Fortune 500 leadership development expert turned love and intimacy coach. Her wisdom on emotional and erotic intelligence helps you have deeper connections, wider love and a more passionate, playful life.

She is currently writing a book called The Art of the Torrid Love Affair that gives people permission to enjoy, embrace, and learn from short term romantic relationships and master the magic of love and intimacy.

As someone who absolutely EMBODIES her mission to help people communicate more authentically, deeply and lovingly, she oozes sass, sex appeal, warmth and generosity. 

I just know that if you’re someone who wants more meaningful connections with others, if you’re someone who wants to live a totally magic life - then you're going to LOVE my conversation with Colleen today. 

On the episode you’ll hear: 

+  The vital role that YOU can play in deepening intimacy in your relationships

+  How to share your desires with a love

+  How to give feedback to a partner without causing an argument

+  Colleen’s formula for powerful listening

+  How to show up more authentically in your connection and communication

 

Get Colleen’s Desires Sharing Framework and other free resources HERE.

Follow her on Instagram HERE.

Dec 17, 2019

Feel like you might have dated, or be dating, a narcissist?

Or have you heard the term being used a LOT lately and wonder what it’s all about?

If you’ve ever encountered someone who appears grandiose, has an excessive need for praise, talks about themselves and their achievements a lot, but is also easily offended, there’s a good chance you’ve at least encountered a narcissist.

“Soul-destroying”, Emotionally abusive”, “Rollercoaster”, “Feel like you’re losing your mind”, “Walking on eggshells”… were just some of the words that you guys shared with me when I asked about your experiences dating narcissists.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be painful and damaging. We often don’t recognise the signs that we’re dating one until it’s too late.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

  • The signs that someone is a narcissist
  • The kind of person who will be most attracted to narcissists
  • What you can do if find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist
  • I’ll answer the question of whether you can ever have a happy relationship with a narcissist
  • And I’ll share the telltale signs that show up early in dating a narcissist

Click HERE to access my blog and download the Signs You're Dating a Narcissist checklist.

Dec 9, 2019

What are relationship and intimacy expert’s relationships really like?

What challenges do they face? How do they make their relationship work?

They might not be what you think!

Real-life couple and intimacy coaches, Jodie Milton and Reece Stockhausen, started Practical Intimacy with the mission to transform how people do relationships. Through their one-on-one coaching practice, couple’s mentoring programs, online courses and blog, they help men and women all over the world to create deeply fulfilling intimacy, thriving long-term connection and a super hot sex life.

Their fresh and relatable approach has seen them work with clients across Australia and abroad, and their articles featured on sites such as The Huffington Post, Mind Body Green, Living Now and Raw Attraction.

Jodie and Reece join me on Wholehearted today to share:

  • The challenges they face in their own relationship
  • How they deal with (and overcome) disagreements
  • The tools and strategies that make their relationship work
  • How they take care of themselves while still having enough energy to give to their relationship
  • Their fun unique take on initiating intimacy with each other!

If you’d like to find out more about Jodie and Reece and what they offer, you can reach out on their website, facebook or Insta.

Dec 4, 2019

We each give and receive love in different ways.

We often give love in the way we’d like to receive it - which is beautiful - but sometimes, that isn’t the way our partner gives love or feels most loved.

So what happens when we’re giving love in a way it isn’t understood?

Sometimes, two people can each be trying to give love to each other - but can both end up feeling unloved because they’re speaking two different love languages. You might even feel really frustrated, because you’re trying to do so much to show your partner that you love them, but for some reason, they still feel unloved!

Understanding the 5 Love Language, helps you understand and navigate these differences.

Understanding the different Love Languages has been so helpful for many couples that I work with. Many of them have found it pivotal in their relationship.

Instead of feeling unloved and uncared for, I’ve seen people suddenly realise their partner has been trying to show love for them all along. I’ve seen couples stop arguing about what they’re not doing for each other and finally understand each other’s needs better.

In this episode we’re going to cover:

  • What are the 5 Love Languages? And how do you find yours?
  • How can you show love to someone with each different Love Language?
  • What should you do when you think your partner has a different Love Language to you?
  • And how can you talk to your partner about your Love Language?

If you’re still unsure of your Love Language after listening to the episode, take the quiz here.

Nov 22, 2019

What do you do when your relationship gets a bit stale?

How can you bring the fun back when everything has become… routine?

That’s what my guest today found herself asking just a short time into her relationship.

In fact, she thought the relationship was probably over… until she found ways to bring the fun, excitement and playfulness back.

In today’s episode, I’m talking to Danielle Colley, founder of Your Good Life. Danielle is passionate about helping purpose driven women create extraordinary lives by inspiring confidence and self-worth in them so they can make empowered decisions about their careers, their relationships and their lives.

Fresh from Eloping in New York, she joins me as we share:

  • Our meeting story and unique friendship
  • How a relationship Bucket List saved Danielle’s relationship
  • How she overcame feeling like she was sexually broken in her marriage to have a thriving partnership today
  • Our tips for building confidence + loving your body

I’m sure you’re going to love Danielle as much as I do!

Listeners are invited to reach out to Danielle for a free 30 minute coaching session HERE or follow her on Insta at your.good.life.

Nov 19, 2019

Relationships are learned behaviours.

We often expect ourselves just to know what to do and get it right, but really, they’re skills that we learn.

What is normal, how to communicate, how to express your emotions to someone, whether to express your emotions at all, what kind of intimacy or affection to display are all things that we learn from our environment.

We learn these from our early caregivers, our family growing up, what we witness in the media, our wider culture and our past relationships.

Even those of you who did everything you could not to turn into your parents will still have learned about relationships from them!  And you will have some patterns or traits that have carried through, because that’s just the way it works.

Our early relationships and even our past relationships have such a strong effect on us that they literally effect the way our brains are wired.

And then those impact the rest of our relationships going forward.

This wiring impacts how we show up in our relationships, how we communicate, react, deal with emotions and even our predisposition to conditions like anxiety and depression.

These past relationships and the ways our brains become wired, help shape what has become known in therapy as attachment style.

On today’s episode, you’re going to hear:

  • How to work out which attachment style you have - and what your partner’s is
  • Which attachment styles go together well - and which tend to have the most conflict
  • Why most dating advice you hear is actually wrong - and how your attachment style explains what’s really going on instead.
  • How you can adjust your attachment style for more harmonious relationships.
Nov 6, 2019

You guys know me. I’m a little bit woo-woo, BUT I’m also passionate about sharing proven advice and practical tools with you.

In today's episode, you’re going to get a lot of practical tools with just a little bit of woo to help you really embrace and step into your power as a sexual woman. 

I’m talking to Sarah Marie Liddle about Erotic Identity Archetypes.

Some of you will remember Sarah from our episode All About Pleasure. 

Sarah Marie Liddle is a writer, identity alchemist, teacher and pleasure advocate. Her work includes private sessions, online programs, and books. 

I know that as you listen to us discuss each of the 5 erotic archetypes you’re going to recognise yourself, your strengths and you'll love the practical tools that will help you grow from where you are right now. 

 

This Episode comes with a huge thank you to Bliss for Women

Bliss for Women provide a unique shopping experience that erases the taboo of shopping in an adult store. Bliss for Women believe women deserve a place where they can explore their own unique relationship to sex, desire and their bodies. You get 10% off all orders over $150 when you use the code IMBLISS19.

Aug 13, 2019

For a long time, I didn’t know what I wanted sexually.

I had very little idea of what turned me on.

I had some ideas… things I’d heard about that I wanted to try but I was far too shy to ask for it!

It was only after I began practicing Tantra and I felt like I was given permission to enjoy myself and express myself sexually that I started to feel okay with accepting pleasure and my sexual desires.

What I enjoy sexually has changed over time - it continues to change actually! I go through phases of really enjoying something and then kind of moving on a bit. Often it’s really dependent on my mood too!

I think one of the reasons I love helping women become sexually empowered so much is because I’m so aware of the whole range of possibilities there are for pleasure! 

There’s a really common set of questions and statements I hear from women when we’re discussing feeling sexually empowered, confident and being well-pleasured. They go like this:

How do I tell my partner what I like?

I’m not even sure I know what I like.

How do you find this out?  What do other women like?

 

I also hear women’s partners say things like:

I wish I knew what she *really enjoys sexually. I try to ask her, but she says she doesn’t know. I just really want to know how to please her.

 

In this episode of Wholehearted Love, Sex + Intimacy, I’m sharing advice and practical tips to help you discover epic pleasure. You’ll hear:

  • The vital factors of a woman’s turn-on that you need to understand
  • My 4 step formula to discover what you really enjoy
  • Playful ways to explore what you enjoy with a partner - no awkward conversations involved
  • Sexy suggestions from other women on what turns them on

  

This episode comes with a huge thank you to Bliss for Women….

Bliss for Women take a holistic approach to women’s sexuality, sexual wellness and menstrual health.

Bliss for Women stock pleasure-enhancing products and provide a unique shopping experience, erasing the taboo of shopping in an adult store.

Bliss for Women believe that women deserve a place where they can explore their own unique relationship to sex, desire and their bodies.

Bliss for Women is about you, your pleasure and your sexual wellness.  Find out more at blissforwomen.com

Aug 6, 2019

What should you do if your man has sexual challenges, can’t ‘get it up’ or isn’t interested in sex? I’m sharing my personal experience with you.

Some of you will know that one of the experiences that led me to working in the field of sexuality, intimacy and relationships, was my time working as a Sexual Surrogate.

In this role, I worked intimately and practically with men experiencing sexual dysfunction such as low libido, premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.

It was an incredible opportunity to see just how deeply sexuality impacts us as human beings, but also the professional possibilities for helping people. I struggle to put into words how profound, insightful and rewarding that work was for me.

Although I mostly work with women and couples now, it's still something close to my heart. 

I receive a LOT of questions from women now on how to support their men with sexual challenges including low desire, ED and PE. 

55% of men will have experienced a sexual dysfunction within the last 12 months. (Which means a significant portion of women will encounter these issues also.)

Our culture places high expectations on men to be sexually proficient and capable at all times.

When men experience sexual challenges of any kind, they often report it bringing into question their sense of worth and their masculinity.

They often express feeling:

  • Shame/embarrassment
  • Frustration/anger
  • Disappointment in themselves
  • Hopelessness/despair

Our culture also places an expectation on women to feel desired and sought-after. 

When a woman’s partner is experiencing sexual challenges, it can sometimes lead her to question her own desirability (even though this usually has little to do with what’s going on!)

Women often experience a range of thoughts and emotions when their partner experiences sexual challenges, such as:

Feeling like they don’t know what to do to help

  • Wanting to ignore the problem so they don’t embarrass their partner
  • Frustration
  • Rejection
  • Helplessness
  • Questioning their own attractiveness

How a partner responds to a sexual dysfunction can make a big difference to what happens going forward. 

For some men, the negative reaction of a partner increases their anxiety about it happening again - almost guaranteeing it does.

But there are helpful ways a partner can respond and there are steps a man can take to overcome these sexual challenges.

In this episode of Wholehearted Love, Sex + Intimacy, you’ll hear:

  • The 4 most common sexual challenges men experience
  • The client who though he had premature ejaculation, but was actually experiencing something very different
  • How men’s partners can respond in a way that’s supportive and can help a man recover faster
  • The underlying causes of each sexual dysfunction
  • Practical steps you need to take to fix them

 

Like any sexual challenge, these issues aren’t something you need to deal with alone.

If you’re ready to move forward to more satisfying, loving sex, book a call with Isiah.

Jul 29, 2019

It’s no secret the dating game has changed pretty drastically over the last decade.

Most of us are familiar with (or perhaps a little too familiar with) online dating and swiping apps.

It feels like norms and expectations are changing. Fast. Especially for people who might suddenly find themselves back in the dating pool after a long break.

And let’s be honest, dating was always complicated enough anyway.

In this episode of Wholehearted Love, Sex + Intimacy, I’m joined by my co-host Bec, where we talk about getting back to dating, what to consider following the emergence of the online dating culture and important questions like:

  • Is it okay to lie about your age on your profile?
  • Is making a list of what you want in a partner really helpful?
  • What can you do to stay safe when dating?
  • What are the dating red flags that should have you running?
  • Is someone being super into you actually a bad thing?

Join us as we dive into dating!

Jul 22, 2019

My love,

Breaking up is never easy.

We experience all kinds of emotions – grief, anger, sadness, guilt, shame. 

We sometimes begin to doubt ourselves and question our abilities. Perhaps wondering if we’re truly lovable. Or if we are capable of the kind of loving, satisfying, long-term relationship that we want.

I know I experienced all of these responses. 

Especially after I’d become a therapist, I felt that perhaps I’d failed for having my relationship end.

Of course, that’s not how it works. No relationship is ever a ‘failure’, they’re all an opportunity for us to learn and grow.

I’ve also agonised over whether I was making the right decision.

Last week, we shared the questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to break up with someone. If you’re still in the process of deciding whether breaking up is the right thing for you, I highly recommend you listen to this episode.

We wanted to follow on this week with how you nurture, love and support yourself if that’s what ends up happening.

If you’re going through a break up right now, or have recently been through one, we want you to know, we see you and we feel you.  We’ve been there too.

And we know it’s one of the most painful journeys you can go through.

It doesn’t matter how long you were with someone, sometimes break up affects us deeply.

In this episode, Bec and I share our own personal stories and the things that we know can get you through.

You’ll hear:

  • The 3 things that got me through the hardest break up of my life
  • Why the pain you might feel isn’t just in your head
  • How long it ‘should’ take you to recover
  • The vital role forgiveness plays in moving forward
  • How to tell when it’s the right time to start dating again

Trust us when we say that something even more perfect for you is ahead.

You deserve great love.

And remember, that it’s okay to get support too. If you need someone to talk to about your break up, reach out to me here.

Sending love to your precious heart,

Isiah. x x

Jul 10, 2019

It took me months to decide to leave my last relationship.

There was so much good in it.

For a long time, I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. 

I’d spent many phone calls with girlfriends discussing the situation, sessions with my therapist becoming clear and many attempts at conversation with my partner.

But clearly, there were things that weren’t working. 

I thought if perhaps I tried harder… Or asked for what I needed in a different way… Or maybe if I just came to terms with him not being ‘perfect’… it might work.

But eventually I had to make the decision I’d known in my guts for months.

Our relationship was never going to be what I wanted it to be. And there were things missing that I couldn’t do without. 

It still wasn’t easy.

If you’ve ever been sitting on the fence of leaving a relationship, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

No one gets into a relationship wanting it to end.

You invest so much, you wonder if you should just stay.

And then there’s other things…

Shame, not wanting to tell people it’s over, the hope that if you just try a little bit harder… and the practical things like the house, finances, the kids.

Last week Bec and I shared the 4 things that determine with 90% accuracy whether a relationship will succeed or fail and the 6 behaviours a happy, healthy relationship needs to survive.

So when the positive signs are missing… but the negatives are there in spades… How do you tell when it’s time to call it a day? 

It’s a major myth that couples come to couples therapy to work on their relationship.

Many couples I begin working with in therapy don’t know whether they want to stay together when they first come to see me.

I help them through the process of determining whether they want to try to overcome the challenges and distance they’re facing.

In this episode, I’m sharing the questions and suggestions that I share with my clients who are making this decision… And the hard questions that we’ve had to ask ourselves too.

If you’re in the process of making this decision at the moment, our hearts are with you. We know it’s tough.

Should you make this decision, tune in again for next week’s episode, when we'll be talking about how you recover and begin to move forward with your life again.

Love & Light,

Isiah & Bec

Jul 2, 2019

I have to be honest… I feel a bit embarrassed about the degree to which I totally nerded out in this week’s podcast.

We wanted to bring you an episode sharing relationship tips that were totally grounded in facts and some of the best relationship research we have available.

It’s based on over 40 years of research by therapists who studied couples in a ‘love lab’. This research forms a large basis of my work with couples. It can predict with 90% accuracy which relationships will fail and which will succeed - without making changes or getting support through therapy.

But, I might have gone a bit far.

I’m not quite sure my co-host, Bec knew how to respond!

Not only will you get the facts and statistics, you’ll also get proven, practical strategies for avoiding these mistakes and learn what to do instead so you can have a rocking, thriving, lasting relationship.

In this episode of Wholehearted Love, S-x + Intimacy, you’ll discover:

  • Which 4 communication strategies determine with 90% accuracy whether a relationship will succeed or fail
  • This 1 thing that men do that means their relationship has an 81% chance of self-destructing
  • What small trick happy couples do 86% of the time and couples destined for break-up do only 33% of the time
  • 6 behaviours happy, healthy relationships need to survive

We need skills and love for our relationships to thrive.

I quite honestly believe they need to teach this stuff in schools. It can make such a powerful difference to our lives.

 

Jun 25, 2019

This is our most personal episode so far…

We get raw, we get open…we get vulnerable.

  • If you’ve been hurt in a past relationship
  • If you have difficulty trusting
  • If you know you struggle to open up
  • Or if you want closer connections in your life…

Know that you’re not alone. This episode is for you.

Brene Brown’s research has shown that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together.

But we completely understand that being vulnerable is hard, REALLY hard.

We’ve had a long journey to being vulnerable too and we still need to remind ourselves to practice vulnerability, to allow our walls to come down and our hearts to open.

We don’t always get it right.

Being vulnerable opens you up to pain, but it also opens you up to greater joy, to greater love and more meaningful relationships.

We quite simply can’t have intimacy without vulnerability.

So how do you tear down your walls and let more love in?

Join us for this intimate conversation as we share:

  • What led us to want to protect ourselves (and you’ll hear us both cry as we do)
  • The moment that changed Isiah’s life and relationships
  • What Bec’s friend said that made her realise she’s not as open and vulnerable as she thought
  • The consequences of shutting down your vulnerability and what can be gained by embracing it.
  • How you can take down the walls (that we all build to protect ourselves) and let more love in

 

Connection is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

You are worthy of love and belonging.

We hope this episode helps break down those walls you may have built up.

We hope it helps you remember to always be kind to yourself, embrace your imperfections and embrace them in others.

Be authentically you… it leads to deeper connections.

And practice vulnerability - the irony is that is actually feels good when we’re vulnerable.

The more you practice anything, the better you get. Pretty soon, you’ll be a boss of vulnerability and master of your whole-hearted life! 

With deep love and gratitude,

Isiah + Bec.xx

 

Links related to this episode:

We recommend checking out Brene Brown's TedX Talk - The Power of Vulnerability. 

 

We’d love to hear from you:

How do you feel about vulnerability?

Was there a moment in your life that led you to put your walls up?

 

Jun 18, 2019

I remember the first time I kissed a woman.

It’s actually not the kiss that I remember most - it’s how I felt afterwards

Confused.

Worried.

Embarrassed.

Excited.

Because, to borrow from Katie Perry:  I kissed a girl. And I liked it.

I liked it a lot, you guys.

But I had always - and still do - consider myself heterosexual.

So how does that work?

We recently received a question from a woman who shared similar feelings about her sexual fantasies involving other women. She’s always considered herself heterosexual and only been in relationships with men, but she’s now wondering what these fantasies about women mean.

So in this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we wanted to address her concerns, which are really common.

If you’ve also found yourself sexually attracted to the same sex, maybe watching lesbian porn and wondered ‘what does this mean???’ We’re answering it all;

We’ll talk about:

  • How common it is…
  • Why it happens
  • Why more for women than for men?
  • Is it normal?
  • Does it mean I’m a lesbian?
  • How do I feel okay with these fantasies or attractions?
  • How societal conditioning has influenced how we see these desires?

I open up about my own experiences of being with women - and what it means for my own relationships.

Enjoy this episode, knowing you are DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!

It’s becoming a bit of a theme on the podcast, but our take home message is that we believe:

  • Love who you love
  • It’s time to break down the rigid labels and boxes we’ve been given
  • Find what brings you pleasure, joy and love and give yourself permission to explore it wholeheartedly!

We think this quote from Kesha sums it up perfectly:

“I love people. It’s not about a gender. It’s just about the spirit that exudes from that other person you’re with.”

 

Have a topic you’d like us to cover? Let us know in the comments.

Jun 11, 2019

Am I in a Sex Rut and how do I get out of it?

Can you relate to the story of so many couples that have walked through my door?

Sex started out fun and exciting (and on a regular basis), but then life happened…

You got busy, tired and very familiar with each other. And you’ve now found yourself feeling a little lack-lustre in the bedroom.

Perhaps, like many of the couples I work with, you’ve noticed: 

  • Sex doesn’t happen very often any more
  • You’re tired or lacking enthusiasm when you do have it
  • If you’re honest, it’s not very exciting
  • When you do have sex, it tends to happen in exactly the same way each time
  • You’d like to find ways to bring the PASSION and PLAYFULNESS back

You, my friend, may be experiencing what we call a ‘sex rut’.

It’s common and you’re normal.

Sex ruts can even happen for happy couples and couples who once considered themselves pretty ‘adventurous’ in this area.

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we’re talking about signs you’re in a sex rut - but most importantly, how you can get out.

Helping couples rediscover fun, playfulness and lasting desire in the bedroom is something Isiah does every day (with incredible results!).

We’ll be sharing 10 ways to get out of a Sex Rut and rediscover playful, loving, satisfying sex. Yes, it’s possible!

We also share:

  • The first step you must take if you want to get out of a sex rut
  • The science of adding fun and playfulness back to your bedroom
  • The simple step that helps you increase your chance of reaching orgasm
  • One of Isiah’s favourite practical exercises to help you discover what you enjoy sexually (her coaching clients love this exercise!)

Listen in as Isiah shares 10 WAYS TO GET YOURSELF OUT OF THE SEX RUT.

For a copy of her FREE Resource check out this episode on her website's blog page.

Jun 4, 2019

Is there anyone who hasn’t argued with their spouse about chores? I need to know your secret!

It’s one of the top issues couples argue about and it comes up all the time in therapy.

This week on Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy, I answer a question from a woman who says her partner STILL expects so much of her around the house, even though she earns more money.

I shared some helpful statistics with her that every relationship can benefit from.

I also answer questions from:

  • A husband wishing his wife wanted more foreplay
  • A woman who thinks her new partner might be gay

We all have questions about relationships and intimacy. We’ve all felt stuck and we all benefit from support sometimes.

If there’s something you would like to ask me, submit your question anonymously here and I’ll do my best to answer it in our next monthly Q&A.

May 27, 2019

Over the last few weeks on Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast we’ve been talking about self-love and body image, because we know what a huge impact this can have on a woman’s confidence, mental health, her relationships and intimacy.

I’m really passionate about women loving and accepting ALL of themselves and because, for me, that includes ALL of their bodies as well, we are going to talk about Vulvas and Vaginas today.

And this area - women’s genitals - is an area that we don’t really talk about – but they can really impact upon a woman’s confidence and pleasure.

So, we’re going to go there ...

 

We’ll talk terminology, because it is really empowering when we know the correct names and parts of ourselves.

We also talk labiaplasty and its rise in popularity.

We talk to some amazing women and men and find out how they feel about Vulvas and Vaginas and I hope after listening to this episode you feel more confident, more appreciative and more in love with your Vulva and your Vagina… after all they are part of you, and you are simply magnificent and perfect as you are.

In this episode:

We talk to some ladies (thanks to Rebecca, Karenna, Em, Richelle, Sarah, Trudi and Nathalie for being so open and willing to share) and ask;


- How do you feel about your vulva/vagina? 

- Has this changed over time?

- What are some of the worries/concerns you’ve had about your vulva/vagina? 

We get a man’s perspective on things

- What are men's real thoughts about going down on a lady? Do they find it gross or a turn on?

- Do you care how a vulva looks, tastes and smells? 

- How well do you think you know these parts of a woman's body, really?

And we also get a Professional Opinion asking:

- What is ‘normal’?

- Do our genitals change as we age?

- How does childbirth impact a woman’s vagina?

- What do you want women to know about their genitals?

 

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow me - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

Our favourite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Question: What’s one word you’d use to describe your vagina?

 

Explore these Resources

Here’s the video we promised explaining all the terms and anatomy of vulvas – this is out of Isiah’s online course for women Epic Os.

https://vimeo.com/258917126

We also recommend these empowering resources:

The Labia Library – a photo gallery of vulvas

The Vulva Gallery – an incredible Instagram celebrating the diversity of women’s vulvas

101 Vagina  – A coffee table book showing the variety of vulvas

Betty Dodson explaining the internal structures of the clitoris

A big thanks

We want to thank the following professionals for sharing their time and wisdom:

Anna Scammell M.Clin Physio (Continence & Women’s Health): The Whole Mother

Kathy Fray

Jeremy Lee Shrub

Kayleen Maree

Richelle Menzies

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you.  Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

May 14, 2019

For decades I hated my body and struggled with self confidence.

You might not know this about me, but I have a skin disease called Vitiligo. It leaves big white patches on my skin – all over my arms, legs and body.

For most of my life, I never thought of myself as beautiful.

I felt like the ugly duckling and wondered how anyone would ever truly love or be attracted to me.

It impacted my confidence, my relationships - and intimacy.

Because, let’s face it - self love is the foundation of ALL our other relationships.

 ***

I believe that every woman deserves to feel comfortable, confident and sexy in her own skin.

And I believe it is possible for every woman - regardless of our size, shape, colour or age.

Self-love and confidence aren’t things that we have or don’t have - they're things we can CULTIVATE. 

***

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy we get personal…

Podcast Producer, Bec Dent, and I share the insights we gathered during this Self Love Series and walk you through our journeys to loving ourselves and our bodies.

Every woman is on a journey to fall in love with themselves.

Our goal from this episode, is to share our own stories and remind you, you are not alone. 

You’re not necessarily born loving your body, or loving yourself.

And your relationship with yourself can change throughout your life. But it’s not the changes that matter- it’s how you feel about yourself through them.

Our aim is to remind you of how amazing you are and help you find ways to practice radical self love and remember your ‘enoughness’ in every moment… in this moment, just as you are.

We hope you enjoy this episode and can learn to love yourself even more after hearing it.

 

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow me - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

 

Our favourite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is: What's the one thing you'll do today to cultivate your confidence and self love?

May 6, 2019

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we continue our self love and body love series.

Joining me today is Elysia Anketell who has dedicated her life to authentic expression, creativity, connection and owning and loving herself in all of her shades, shadows and colours. Raw vulnerability and openness encapsulate all that Elysia does, advocating for women to increase their self confidence, quieten their negative self talk and be more authentically themselves - all through her program and community; The Body Love Collective.

Today she's sharing her journey from body loathing to body love and how we have the ability to be our most full powered selves. Join us as we aim to help you remember your worthiness and beauty…exactly as you are in this moment.

In this episode, we discuss:

  • What is beauty?
  • Where we get the belief that we’re not beautiful or that our body isn’t ok the way it is?
  • How societal body standards and how we see ourselves can be destructive to our relationships
  • Social media - not exposing yourself to the things that make you feel like crap
  • How the messages we get, not just from the media, but our mothers and friends affect us 
  • How letting an ‘active inner critic’ can lead to us making decisions that can hold us back 
  • How you can become the ‘CEO of your own needs'
  • How altering our language and conversations in our daily lives can improve our body confidence and love
  • Building your sisterhood connections 
  • How to cultivate compassion, love and admiration for yourself
  • How you can help your partner who is struggling with their own body love
  • How you can learn to receive your partner's love and appreciation for your body

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

 

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Starting with just one thing - what about your body do you love??

 

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Instagram: @thebodylove_co

Personal: @_thisiselysia

www.thebodylovecollective.com

 

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

Apr 30, 2019

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Gina Swire, a truly inspiring self love expert, speaker, author, mentor and manifesting queen joins me to share her journey to loving herself one million percent and shares her tips on how you can too!

Gina is on a global mission to help a billion women fall madly in love with themselves. After struggling with her own self-worth and image issues, Gina quit her career as a plus-sized model at the height of her fame in order to embark on her own journey of transformation.

Today she travels the world leading live workshops, hosting retreats, coaching private clients, and speaking on stages from Burning Man to Bali Spirit festival, as she inspires women everywhere to love themselves, love their lives and use it all to do good for the planet.  

 This episode explores:

  • What Self-Love is
  • The simplicity of self love and how you can practice it whilst you go about your busy life
  • Why it’s important to be kinder to ourselves
  • That voice in your head… is it effective or ineffective for your life?
  • Body image and the shame categories we have for our appearance
  • Gina’s experience modelling and the way women don’t feel enough
  • The importance of taking compliments
  • How to play the ‘Appreciation Game’
  • Tips for how to realise your ‘enoughness’ just as you are
  • Remembering ‘should-ing’ yourself (saying the word should about you/ your behaviour) is giving yourself a hard time. And you need to be kinder to yourself.

We hope you enjoy this episode and can learn to love yourself even more after hearing it.

Want more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

 

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is: Who in your life would you want to share this message with?

 

Explore these Resources

Gina’s work has been featured in Vogue Magazine, Elephant Journal, Yoga Guide Magazine, Psychologies magazine, The love challenge. You can learn more about Gina and become a part of this self love movement at www.ginaswire.com or follow her on socials.

Gina Swire | gina@ginaswire.com

IG @ginaswire

FB @ginaswire and https://www.facebook.com/groups/infiniteselflovesociety/

 

Tips to Realise Your ‘Enoughness’:

  • Give yourself Time and Space- just for you.
  • Have a mindset shift… that you are ALREADY
  • Spend time with people that lift you up and that model the changes you want to make in yourself.
  • Have a social media clear out or detox; look at the accounts you see the most...and just ask yourself ‘do I feel good?’ And if it doesn’t – lovingly get rid (unfollow). And follow positive pages/ people that make you feel good/positive and show up as the kind of person that you want to show up as.
  • Gratitude Journal and/ or daily forgiveness practice.
  • Practice ‘Bliss-ipline’- do things daily that actually make you feel good.
  • Give yourself 15 minutes a day (at least) to practice self-love. You inspire people in the process.
  • Give yourself permission and let yourself celebrate the things you are good at – you give other people permission to do the same!

 

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you.

Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

Apr 23, 2019

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we are joined by the wonderful Susana Frioni.

Susana has been vocal in the space of sex, intimacy and desire for so long starting the ‘Love, Sex, Desire’ podcast five years ago.  We've been on each others' podcasts before - sharing similar views on the need for us all to be more open when it comes to talking about relationships, sex and intimacy.

Susana is a podcaster, personal coach and embodiment teacher igniting women through erotic empowerment via her brand LOVE SEX DESIRE. With an audience in over 190 countries, Susana produces and hosts a weekly podcast series alongside her Sacred Dance events and online program, Dance Yourself Free.

She joins me for this podcast to discuss how you can reconnect to your sexuality, innate wisdom and learn how to prioritise yourself to fuel all areas of your life.

In this episode, we discuss:

- How people reacted to Susana starting her podcast and being so open about talking about Love, Sex and Desire. And how Susana’s journey evolved to get to this point.

- The need for all of us to be more open about these topics.

- How intimacy with self, intimacy with others and intimacy with life are core.

- Dance as a modality to intimacy and connection to your sexuality and innate wisdom.

- Seeing sex and relationships as skills that you need to learn, you’re not just born with the ability to be a master of them. Give yourself a break and time to develop these skills.

- You as a ‘Woman, Lover, Mother’ and how by prioritising yourself, filling your own cup, taking care of yourself and cultivating yourself as an individual without all the other labels or roles that you play.

 

Want to learn more?

Follow our Podcast and Blog

Follow our Host - Isiah McKimmie - Couple Therapist + Sexologist

Join the conversation in our Facebook Group - Wholehearted: Love, Sex + Intimacy

 

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week's question:

What do you wish you'd be told about sex and relationships when you were growing up?  What would you tell your younger self now?

 

Explore these Resources

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Susana’s Website

The Love Sex Desire Podcast Series

E: susana@susanafrioni.com

Apr 15, 2019

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we open the floor to you, our amazing listeners, and answer the burning questions you've submitted on the website or through our Facebook page.

We can’t get to them all in this episode, but there will be many more Q & A episodes to come. So if there is something you would like to ask me (+ it can be anonymous) click this link

Today, we discuss:

  • how you can take more control in the bedroom,
  • how you can increase your desire for sex when the feeling fades and (a big one)…
  • "Do I stay quiet to keep the peace or voice my concerns with my partner?"!

Thanks for listening, we hope you enjoy it.

Isiah + Bec. x

 

 

Our favourite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section. So be sure to connect on our blog page, facebook group or on Insta.

This week's question:

What would you like to ask me? Click here to ask.

 

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you. Please visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

Apr 9, 2019

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, I asked one of my team members, Bec Dent, to ask the burning questions the average person has around open relationships and how to navigate them. 

Our guests, Richelle and Jeremy are relationship experts, but have been in numerous open relationships themselves.

They offer a very candid insight into their transition into open relationships. They explain how they first knew this was the type of alternative relationship they would like to pursue and they share the pleasure and pitfalls of this choice.

We also get their top tips for making an open relationship work well and ask:

  • How do you take care of everyone’s needs in this kind of relationship?
  • How do you keep emotion separate? Can it really be JUST sex?
  • What is ethical non-monogamy?
  • How were your relationships affected by introducing other people into them?

Listen in and enjoy!

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section. So be sure to connect on our blog page, facebook group or on Insta and answer me this: 

This week’s question is:

Question: Do you think an open relationship can just be sex with no emotional connection?

Thanks to Richelle and Jeremy for being so incredibly open. If you'd like to know more about them and the work they do check out the following resources:

Jeremy's website

Richelle's website

And a special thank you to Bec Dent for being a great co-host.

Apr 1, 2019

How would you feel if the person you loved wanted a relationship with someone else?

In this episode of Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, Victoria Redbard joins me to discuss open relationships and polyamory. 

Victoria is a coach, counsellor, speaker, author, open relating expert and self pleasure activist. 

She has studied Tantra and Sexuality and helps people have relationships that make them feel free and expansive.

She believes that by integrating our sexuality with our spiritual practices we can achieve anything in life.

She advocates for a new paradigm (and way of being) that creates space for us to move away from the expectations and traditions society had built up over time to move into a state of thriving.

Victoria’s message: how can we start to claim our desires and start to voice these things to the people that mean the most to us? 

Join us as we delve into:

  • What is an open relationship? and what's the difference between Polyamory and Open Relating
  • How social conditioning influences our views to this form of relationship
  • How can we claim our desires and voice them with the people that mean the most to us?
  • Jealousy and Envy … where those emotions come from and how to handle them when they arise in your relationship
  • Tips on how to approach the subject of open relating with your partner.

 

Our favorite part of recording a live podcast each week is participating in the great conversations that happen on our live chat, on social media, and in our comments section.  

This week’s question is:

Have you tried an open relationship? Is it for you?

 

Resources related to this episode:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

www.victoriaredbard.com

Instagram: tantric.witch

Facebook: Victoria Redbard Tantric Witch

 

If you are a new listener to Wholehearted: Love Sex + Intimacy – The Podcast, we would love to hear from you - leave us a rating or review or visit our Contact Page and let us know how we can help you today!

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